Letter from Molly

Unfortunately, lots of victims of a public education think that sex was missionary position and just plain lousy until 1968, despite ample evidence to the contrary, much of which will be presented on this blog. In the first edition of the terrific book The Intimate Sex Lives of Famous People, a research task so daunting it was put together by the entire Irving Wallace family, the book closes with a letter of unknown origin, written around 1882, from a young newlywed named Mollie. Having promised to let her cousin Julia back east know what to expect on her wedding night, she mailed a graphic and delightful description of the joys of being deflowered.

It really ticks me off that, in the long-awaited new edition of the book that came out in 2008, the letter below has been removed, as has a charming chapter in the end on several famously happy marriages, to serve as counterpoint to the general warped but entertaining misery haunting the volume as a whole. It’s got to say something about our culture and its attitude, that marital sex is boring, period, that this letter was excised. Look at some of the accouterments under my own marital bed of thirty years before making that call. But young editors will have their way, and the addition of a few new subjects tossed in here and there, like Kurt Cobain, do not serve to take the place of what follows. Incidentally, it is reproduced here with its punctuation, or lack of it, in place. Spelling, too, was more a matter of opinion than hard fact in those days. But, for me, it's not a spoiler. To the real historian, it only adds to the charm.

My dear cousin Julia
I am now with much pleasure about to fulfill my promise of writeing to you after the consumation of my marriage with Albert so you may have some Idea of the thing when you and Harry are united which I hope will be soon You will please remember this is strictly confidential if we were not so intimate I would not write so plain but you know when we were together what one did the other knew so I will keep nothing back from you Albert and I where married day before yesterday our minister E. Hodge performed the ceremony all of our folks were present and nothing occured to mar the pleasures of the day all went off as weddings generaly do with fun frolicking cackes & wine &c But oh dear Julia you can but faintly comprehend the felicity I have experienced since that ever to be remembered night I thought I had some Idea of the enjoyment of married life but I was a novice in the mystries I will now endevor to give you a faint description of our married life The first night I lay with my dear Albert a thrilling sensation shot with the rapidity of lightning through my entire system Oh-the bliss of that moment So sensitively alive it excelled any thing I had ever experienced it was superlatively nice We lay a few moments enfolded in each others embrace our naked bodies in close contact for by some unaccountiable means my night clothes had all slipped above my waist my blood boiled and rushed through my frame like molten lava my prespiration ceased entirely at entervals and my head throbed almost to bursting a dizziness amounting almost to stupeifeication over came me a felcitiy not to be expressed in words my breath seemed to leave my body I felt paralysed and lay motionless and calm as some southern sea on a still summer morn When as to test the utmost tension of my nerves Albert took my hand and by degrees (I did not resist I suspected his intentions) in tremulous excitement conveyed it down his body until it came in contact with his-0! Heavens the thrilling sensation of that moment you know what I mean It was swollen to an enormous size my hand immediatley and tenaciously grasped it though I declare it was as much as I could do to fairly span it The soft velvet like feeling of its head gave additional impulse to my already excited feelings When to cap the climax of my felicity he gently raised himself on one knee and with the other between my thighs he separated my legs so as to admit his body between them and then in a moment he "was gently heaving up and down with an undulating motion when I felt it enter my person When the head entered it appeared to me that I was attacked with a spasm for I raised with sudden emotion as he bore down on me and this mutualy kept up had the effect of driving it quite into my person and then a shock suddenly passed through me as if from a galvanic battery a dizziness overcame me my eyes closed my bosom heaved my arms relaxed my perspiration ceased I was actually gone for I fainted When conciousness returned Albert was hugging & kissing me clasping me in his arms in the estacy of the moment I forgot all the world except my dear Albert we lay quite exhausted for about twenty minutes when he again conveyed my hand to that Dear member that had given me so much pleasure it was some what less in size but as soon as it felt the pressure of my hand it resumed its original proportion Albert made another attempt to raise himself upon me but I begged him more from delicacy than disinclination to desist wich kind soul as he is he did but I could not long resist for he thrust in between my thighs and kissed me so that longer resistance was impossible and I once more yeilded to his solicitation I did not faint this time though the pleasurable sensations were more acute than the first I would sooner have risked my soul's salvation than to have had Albert withdraw from his embrace I was some what sore and stiff in my parts next day but at present I feel as chirp as a squirrel I think he has done the work for me I think I am pregnant Now dear Julia the day is coming to a close and I must conclude this letter for I expect Albert at any moment and I would not for the world have him know what I have been writing to you so good bye for the present and in my next I will tell you more of the pleasures of married life. Give my love to Anna T Uncle and inquiring friends.
I remain your affectionate cousin Mollie